Background: When parents get anxious, children get anxious. It’s really that simple. That old adage of “take care of yourself, before trying to take care of others”, applies to parenting as well. After all, most invested parents will state that parenting is the most important, rewarding, yet most stressful “job” in the world, and it is! Perhaps the most common trait of any good parent is “worry”. This is a good thing, for worry equals caring and protection which are necessary to raise healthy children. But as with anything, too much or too little of something usually has shortcomings. A parent who is too anxious is going to be both stressed out and stress out their child, while a parent who is not “concerned enough”, may not be helping their child enough and the child then internalizes this experience and responds to themselves and others in the same manner. (more…)
Posts Tagged ‘quality time’
Anxious Parents = Anxious Children
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012Kid Blues After Thanksgiving
Friday, November 25th, 2011
Think of getting your kids back into school after Thanksgiving as a warm up for after the Winter Holidays. Why not practice a bit this weekend. In fact, with the break between Thanksgiving and the longer Winter Holiday, kids won’t be thinking too much about school and this is when it can be especially tough for parents. Teachers will tell you that the greatest decline in school performance is actually between Thanksgiving and Christmas due to kids daydreaming about the festivities and not thinking much about Social Studies, so the parental encouragement factor is a pretty important element during this time. Here’s what parents can do.
- Start talking about going back to school today. Not to rain on the vacation parade, but reminding your kids to do any homework that might be due Monday will lessen the tension in your home if Sunday night comes around and they all of a sudden remember that a math packet is due.
- Empathize with your child that school is work but everyone is in the same boat. Kids often think they are the only ones suffering with the realities of school, but when they realize that their friends are in the same position, it often lessens their grief.
- Talk about the fun holidays ahead but emphasize that they will only be grand if they keep up on their schoolwork. Kids and goals go together. If the carrot of a great holiday is contingent on them pulling their weight at school, they will take it more seriously.
- Be on top of their responsibilities. During the next few weeks, be especially attentive to your child’s responsibility for their schoolwork. Check those planners and school websites and even send off an e-mail to their teacher making sure that all is going smoothly during this exciting period of time. Teachers always love invested parents.
Following these 4 simple steps will help your child keep their eye on the ball and pave the way for a more peaceful and enjoyable Winter break.
Keeping Kids Busy Over The Holidays
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011
Listen up parents, if your kids get bored over the upcoming Holiday vacation, things could get rough. However, some simple things you can do will not only make the Holiday time for enjoyable for them, but also for you. Although many children complain about school work, the social benefits of the school day make vacations fun but also boring. This is when the relief from doing school work is replaced by missing the time spent with their peers at recess, lunch, or even when they are doing school projects together. I am a big believer in “family time” during vacations and advocate both alone time with each child and family-oriented activities, but parents need to do even more if they are going to keep their kids happy over the holidays. (more…)
One to One Time
Monday, October 31st, 2011
You’ve heard the old saying “quality time” versus “quantity time” haven’t you? Well, when it comes to spending time with your kids, this old adage speaks loud and clear. Most invested parents do their best to spend time with their kids and hope that those times together will be cherished moments in the minds of their child, but how a parent spends time with a child is what it’s all about. One characteristic of all children is that they crave the attention of their parents. It is something I call “love fuel”. It assures them they are important, valued, loved, respected, and liked by you. Pretty important stuff for a kid especially if they’re young. In fact, development teaches us that the kids who “get enough love and attention “ in the early years – the first 3 to be most specific – the better chances they have to stay mentally healthy. Such “critical” periods are from years 0-3 and then again 12 – 14. I have always viewed the teenagers as large toddlers. Just take off the first number of a teenager and this mirrors how they act sometimes. During these time periods, the parental attention need factor is at an all time high, but between these times, the attention from the parent remains needed for kids to develop healthfully. And, once they get their “fill”, they calm down. (more…)
