Background: Debbie always thought she had a great relationship with her 2 and a half year old son Benjamin. As a full time mom during his infancy, she and Ben were close and happy as the two of them spent hours of time during the day bonding, learning, and playing. It was during his third year however, that their relationship went through a significant change. Benjamin became frequently frustrated with Debbie whenever she would say “no” to him or not gratify his numerous wishes. As he was becoming more verbal, he would let her know his dismay by telling her he “did not like her”; that she “was a bad mom” and would often pout and ignore her. For Debbie, this left her feeling both bewildered and sad. “How could he change so quickly”, and “where did I go wrong creating a rude child”. (more…)
Posts Tagged ‘moms’
Why Moms Get Dumped By Their Kids
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012Anxious Parents = Anxious Children
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012
Background: When parents get anxious, children get anxious. It’s really that simple. That old adage of “take care of yourself, before trying to take care of others”, applies to parenting as well. After all, most invested parents will state that parenting is the most important, rewarding, yet most stressful “job” in the world, and it is! Perhaps the most common trait of any good parent is “worry”. This is a good thing, for worry equals caring and protection which are necessary to raise healthy children. But as with anything, too much or too little of something usually has shortcomings. A parent who is too anxious is going to be both stressed out and stress out their child, while a parent who is not “concerned enough”, may not be helping their child enough and the child then internalizes this experience and responds to themselves and others in the same manner. (more…)
Why Envy Turns To Anger
Tuesday, May 17th, 2011If you have a child between the ages of 6 to 10, then the number one complaint you hear everyday is “it’s not fair”. Now you’re laughing. But, it’s true and also a normal expression for any child in this age range, so don’t worry, yet. It’s only when that “it’s not fair” comment becomes a personality trait is when you need to worry and when it does, it leads to misery. For your child and you as parent. That “it’s fair or not fair” has to do with your child’s “ego” or sense of self. It simple, when kids feel “good enough” about themselves then fairness is possible and accepted after a while. Just look at your older kids, they got it over time. But, good enough means that the child feels “successful enough” about themselves. (more…)
Teaching Kids to Care
Thursday, April 28th, 2011“Kids are not born automatically caring”
As strange as it may seem, children are not born automatically to care about others. In fact, because humans are the only form of animal that is fully dependent on their caregivers at birth, it is only after a child takes in what it means to be cared for from the outside, that they can return the favor later in their lives. Children who do not receive enough early caring, both physically and psychologically, never even develop this capacity and remain self-centered for their lifetime unless they figure out that something really went wrong in the early years of their lives and dedicate themselves to “fixing” what was never there. For those who did receive the early nurturing fuel from their parents, they develop the capacity to care for others. But, even these children who have what it takes to care for others, must be led by adults who believe caring for others is an important virtue. (more…)
Teaching Kids to Love
Friday, February 11th, 2011Be sure to watch Dr. Kanner discuss this topic on Monday, February 14th @ 8:20am on San Diego 6 News In The Morning.
Valentine’s Day is the day of “love”. Pleasantly, grade school children give Valentine’s cards and candy to their friends creating warm feelings for all. Imagine if Valentine’s Day was everyday where people were loving and caring everyday? The world would be a better place. Love is a powerful fuel that makes everyone feel good. Parents who parent out of love and thoughtfulness raise healthier and happier children who are emotionally stronger and successful then parents who parent through fear or avoidance. These fundamentals then pass down t to the next generation of children as well. So, how do we develop loving children who love themselves, but others too. (more…)
Tiger Moms: The Controversy
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011If you didn’t hear, a National cat fight broke out a few weeks ago when a Yale University Law professor by the name of Amy Chua released her memoir about her success as raising her child the “Tiger Mom” way. Well, anyone knows that criticizing mom is not a nice thing to do anyway and the media has had a field day with mom-types recently, like the Cougars, so, the sparks are flying between various groups from the Tigers to the Cougars to the Free-Rangers to the steadfast likely “Jewish, Guilty, Ambivalent, Preoccupied Western Mom” type which Ayelet Waldman wrote a great piece about in the Sunday Wall Street Journal back on January 15-16 this year. One of my friends also reminded me of the “Momma Bear Moms”. She is from the Mid-West so I think that is more like the one Waldman writes about without the injection of Jewish guilt. (more…)
Are Reality Shows To Much For Kids?
Saturday, January 29th, 2011With the recent release of MTV’s new show, Skins, many parents and child advocates are outraged more than ever due to the nature of the content on this show. Although the show is not a true “reality show” because the actions that the teens do are performed by actors, there is still a fear that the vulnerable minds of both teenagers and any other child that may view the show could internalize and possibly emulate their behaviors which include the use of drugs, open sexuality, and other stereotyped adolescent behaviors. It is a well-known fact that teenagers are impressionable and want to be both cool and even famous. From movie stars to fashion, being in the limelight is a common wish of all children and adolescents irrespective of the cost it might be to their health and future. (more…)
Adolescent Attitudes
Sunday, January 16th, 2011Background: Attitude (def): Often a parent’s worst nightmare. Evidence of an “attitude” begins as early as 2 years of age and remains intact through ages 16 to 17 frequently manifesting when a child or adolescent is feeling thwarted, is in a bad mood, tired, or when interrupted of refrained from an activity of their choice. Many parents become angry and intolerant of their child’s “tood” and insist that it change or alter, earlier rather than later, but find that demanding such change is not immediate and in fact, the demand frequently intensifies the condition creating even more tension around the house. (more…)
Kid bullies these days
Monday, December 27th, 2010As with other changes these days, kid bullying is no exception. But now the effects are so intense that victims are killing themselves. We all remember that bully or two in either grade or middle school who make us feel bad or afraid and we dealt with it, but now bullies are not only at school but woven into social media and on the Internet or both. It is no longer an issue between the bully and their prey but now shared with the social would with the click of a mouse. In other words, bullying has changed shape and we have a real problem on our hands. Let’s look at the stats: (more…)
