Background: When parents get anxious, children get anxious. It’s really that simple. That old adage of “take care of yourself, before trying to take care of others”, applies to parenting as well. After all, most invested parents will state that parenting is the most important, rewarding, yet most stressful “job” in the world, and it is! Perhaps the most common trait of any good parent is “worry”. This is a good thing, for worry equals caring and protection which are necessary to raise healthy children. But as with anything, too much or too little of something usually has shortcomings. A parent who is too anxious is going to be both stressed out and stress out their child, while a parent who is not “concerned enough”, may not be helping their child enough and the child then internalizes this experience and responds to themselves and others in the same manner. (more…)
Posts Tagged ‘dads’
Anxious Parents = Anxious Children
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012Post-Partum Depression In Men
Tuesday, January 17th, 2012
Background: One of the most neglected topics when a couple decides to have a child is that the mother is not the only one going through significant emotional and psychological changes. Dads are too. In fact, because the notion that men seem to be stereotyped as the “stong” ones, their emotional reactions to child birth are often overlooked. The reality is that both men and women are thrown into a “new” developmental part of their lives when they have a baby and depending upon many factors, some become excited and invested, while others struggle with this enormous change and associated responsibilities, including financial, emotional, and physical changes which may or may not have been examined ahead of time and even if they were, having that child makes it all real. For example Ed was elated when his wife of three years announced that she was finally pregnant. The couple had been trying to get pregnant for two years and were becoming very concerned that they would not be able to parent children. Fertility consultations had recommended some medication to help them along, but because of some negative family experiences with past medications in recent years, they decided to continue to try conceive naturally. However, the attempts had become anxiety provoking and “not much fun”, as both Ed and his wife, Ellen, would base their intimacy on an ovulation schedule rather than spontaneity. They had both concluded though, that it was worth it if they could have a child together. (more…)
Why Envy Turns To Anger
Tuesday, May 17th, 2011If you have a child between the ages of 6 to 10, then the number one complaint you hear everyday is “it’s not fair”. Now you’re laughing. But, it’s true and also a normal expression for any child in this age range, so don’t worry, yet. It’s only when that “it’s not fair” comment becomes a personality trait is when you need to worry and when it does, it leads to misery. For your child and you as parent. That “it’s fair or not fair” has to do with your child’s “ego” or sense of self. It simple, when kids feel “good enough” about themselves then fairness is possible and accepted after a while. Just look at your older kids, they got it over time. But, good enough means that the child feels “successful enough” about themselves. (more…)
Teaching Kids to Care
Thursday, April 28th, 2011“Kids are not born automatically caring”
As strange as it may seem, children are not born automatically to care about others. In fact, because humans are the only form of animal that is fully dependent on their caregivers at birth, it is only after a child takes in what it means to be cared for from the outside, that they can return the favor later in their lives. Children who do not receive enough early caring, both physically and psychologically, never even develop this capacity and remain self-centered for their lifetime unless they figure out that something really went wrong in the early years of their lives and dedicate themselves to “fixing” what was never there. For those who did receive the early nurturing fuel from their parents, they develop the capacity to care for others. But, even these children who have what it takes to care for others, must be led by adults who believe caring for others is an important virtue. (more…)
Are Reality Shows To Much For Kids?
Saturday, January 29th, 2011With the recent release of MTV’s new show, Skins, many parents and child advocates are outraged more than ever due to the nature of the content on this show. Although the show is not a true “reality show” because the actions that the teens do are performed by actors, there is still a fear that the vulnerable minds of both teenagers and any other child that may view the show could internalize and possibly emulate their behaviors which include the use of drugs, open sexuality, and other stereotyped adolescent behaviors. It is a well-known fact that teenagers are impressionable and want to be both cool and even famous. From movie stars to fashion, being in the limelight is a common wish of all children and adolescents irrespective of the cost it might be to their health and future. (more…)
Adolescent Attitudes
Sunday, January 16th, 2011Background: Attitude (def): Often a parent’s worst nightmare. Evidence of an “attitude” begins as early as 2 years of age and remains intact through ages 16 to 17 frequently manifesting when a child or adolescent is feeling thwarted, is in a bad mood, tired, or when interrupted of refrained from an activity of their choice. Many parents become angry and intolerant of their child’s “tood” and insist that it change or alter, earlier rather than later, but find that demanding such change is not immediate and in fact, the demand frequently intensifies the condition creating even more tension around the house. (more…)
Kid bullies these days
Monday, December 27th, 2010As with other changes these days, kid bullying is no exception. But now the effects are so intense that victims are killing themselves. We all remember that bully or two in either grade or middle school who make us feel bad or afraid and we dealt with it, but now bullies are not only at school but woven into social media and on the Internet or both. It is no longer an issue between the bully and their prey but now shared with the social would with the click of a mouse. In other words, bullying has changed shape and we have a real problem on our hands. Let’s look at the stats: (more…)
