Warning Signs In Teenagers:
Dangerous games, failing grades, drug and alcohol abuse, habitual
rebellious behavior, and in the worst case, teenage suicide, are all
examples of “warning signs” that a “tween” or adolescent is in
trouble, and that their behavior is not normal as compared to what is
considered expected for a teenager. The old adage that “kids will be
kids” can be a dangerous assumption if one does not fully understand
what is considered “normal” versus “abnormal” behavior when considering a
middle or high school-aged boy or girl. As psychologists,
psychiatrists and psychoanalysts, we speak of the typical processes of
separation and individuation as children and adolescents alike
consciously and unconsciously attempt to separate themselves and be
psychologically independent from their adult counterparts by acting
and doing things differently in efforts to feel less dependent and more
grown up. However, the degree and extent to which course one might take, one must
consider individual differences based on both the personality and
particular conflicts each child and adolescent endures.
Another important consideration is that by definition adolescents tend
to feel normally invincible and their judgment tends to be commonly
inconsistent based on the influences of strong feelings of aggression
and sexuality which puts great stress on their consciousness. Coupled
with peer influences, pressure to do well in school, and a more or less
self-centered view of the world based on their general sense of
vulnerability, decisions are often half thought through and mistakes
happen from time to time. When this happens, most “good” parents set
limits and the behaviors calm down until the next periodic time of
“not thinking” occurs. However, occasional poor judgment is far
different than consistent investments in self-compromising behaviors
which tend to place this group of children into frequent states of
peril. When this happens, we see these choices as symptoms of
something much larger inside of the adolescent, causing disturbance and
subsequent maladaptive behaviors.
Exactly what is going on inside of these particular children needs more
investigation to determine for example as to whether or not they are
depressed, going through a rough developmental period, or withstanding
an even more debilitating personality disturbance. However, it takes
an invested parent who is observing their child on a daily basis and
who has some sense of what is considered normal or not to make the
determination as to whether or not their child needs help.
In most cases, when parents find that their child is going down a less
than optimal pathway, they intervene and talk with their child and then
if there is a lack of change they get them some help. This is why
most adolescents are not either depressed or failing out of high
school. Parents however, need to constantly be on alert as to how
their child is managing his or her life during these critical years.
We all know that most adolescents do not talk openly to their parents
for those same reasons of wanting to be “on their own”, but their
behaviors usually speak loud and clear as to how they are really
feeling about life and themselves. Very few children who are really
suffering have a lack of present symptoms that can be identified by
anyone outside of the boy or girl who has the knowledge of normality
versus abnormality and pay attention to their children. Symptoms are
basically anything that is evidence of something self-compromising to a
child or adolescent, but the top most common ones are as follows:
1. failing grades in school
2. habitual risk-taking behaviors
3. daily negative self-statements
4. a absence of friendships
5. evidence of self-injurious activities (i.e. cutting)
6. poor hygiene after age 12
7. school behavior problems
8. trouble with the law
9. consistent oppositional attitude towards all adults
10. evidence of alcohol and drug paraphernalia
Limits placed on these issues by parents help children in elevating
their self-esteem and subsequently helps them better manage their
feelings, which at this stage feel out of their control. When a parent
helps, these noted symptoms often subside and the risk of their
actions intensifying often lessen. However if a parent fails to identify
such problems and fails to get them some help , their child will continue to suffer and their problems may
intensify leading to some sort of crisis which can then hurt the
entire family.
Tags: Adolescence, Behavior, Parenting, Teenagers, warning signs
