Background: If your family is like most, your children and adolescents are still in a state of denial that school begins next week given the holiday festivities. As parents however, you are ready for the holidays to end and excited about getting them back into structure and routine. Many parents avoid the concept of talking to their children about school re-starting for fear of putting their children into bad moods and getting into a fight. On the other hand, when parents do not approach talking about getting ready for school again and looking ahead to perhaps new year’s expectations for success, the avoided conflicts tend to emerge shortly after school begins when problems may already have arisen or repeated themselves from the following term. In addition, when parents do not discuss this upcoming change, children will often go into a short term slump as they re-enter school due to not managing their feelings of disappointment. Read the rest of this entry »
Getting Kids Back “Into” School After The Holidays
December 26th, 2011New Year’s Resolutions ( for kids )
December 20th, 2011
Background: 15 year old Billy told his parents that his New Year’s Resolution for 2011 would be to get straight A’s this year in school to better his chances for college admission. Up to this point, Billy had historically struggled in school given some mild learning differences and and a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, both of which he had received assistance in managing. Billy’s wish to elevate his grades is based on the reality of college admission competition and also in service of wanting to please his parents and raise his own self-esteem. Despite his encouraging statement to his parents, both his mother and father were concerned that Billy set his expectations too high given his natural attributes. In particular, his father was concerned that Billy was going to set himself up for a let down. Read the rest of this entry »
Extended Family Visits Over The Holidays
December 8th, 2011
Background: For many extended family members, the only time they have to spend and get to know their young family members is over the holidays and the time is often brief. From grandparents, to aunts, uncles, and cousins, this time is invaluable to discover what is on the minds and in the hearts of young children and even adolescents. To truly find out such answers, the interested family member needs to find ways to enter into their lives by joining in the child or adolescent’s interests or activities that they are comfortable doing. Read the rest of this entry »
Keeping Kids On Track Before The Holidays
December 1st, 2011
Teachers will tell you that the greatest decline in school performance is actually between Thanksgiving and the Winter Holidays due to kids daydreaming about the festivities and not thinking much about Social Studies, so the parental encouragement factor is a pretty important element during this time. Chances are your kids were not in the best mood when they had to find their backpacks and go back to school after the Thanksgiving break. Read the rest of this entry »
Kid Blues After Thanksgiving
November 25th, 2011
Think of getting your kids back into school after Thanksgiving as a warm up for after the Winter Holidays. Why not practice a bit this weekend. In fact, with the break between Thanksgiving and the longer Winter Holiday, kids won’t be thinking too much about school and this is when it can be especially tough for parents. Teachers will tell you that the greatest decline in school performance is actually between Thanksgiving and Christmas due to kids daydreaming about the festivities and not thinking much about Social Studies, so the parental encouragement factor is a pretty important element during this time. Here’s what parents can do.
- Start talking about going back to school today. Not to rain on the vacation parade, but reminding your kids to do any homework that might be due Monday will lessen the tension in your home if Sunday night comes around and they all of a sudden remember that a math packet is due.
- Empathize with your child that school is work but everyone is in the same boat. Kids often think they are the only ones suffering with the realities of school, but when they realize that their friends are in the same position, it often lessens their grief.
- Talk about the fun holidays ahead but emphasize that they will only be grand if they keep up on their schoolwork. Kids and goals go together. If the carrot of a great holiday is contingent on them pulling their weight at school, they will take it more seriously.
- Be on top of their responsibilities. During the next few weeks, be especially attentive to your child’s responsibility for their schoolwork. Check those planners and school websites and even send off an e-mail to their teacher making sure that all is going smoothly during this exciting period of time. Teachers always love invested parents.
Following these 4 simple steps will help your child keep their eye on the ball and pave the way for a more peaceful and enjoyable Winter break.
Keeping Kids Busy Over The Holidays
November 22nd, 2011
Listen up parents, if your kids get bored over the upcoming Holiday vacation, things could get rough. However, some simple things you can do will not only make the Holiday time for enjoyable for them, but also for you. Although many children complain about school work, the social benefits of the school day make vacations fun but also boring. This is when the relief from doing school work is replaced by missing the time spent with their peers at recess, lunch, or even when they are doing school projects together. I am a big believer in “family time” during vacations and advocate both alone time with each child and family-oriented activities, but parents need to do even more if they are going to keep their kids happy over the holidays. Read the rest of this entry »
Gift Giving
November 16th, 2011
Background: With the holidays just around the corner, children and adults alike are struggling to find that “right” gift for a loved one and become concerned with issues such as quantity, quality, degree of personal appreciation, and amount of money available for gift buying in an economy that is tight for many. The giving of a gift for most however, is ,intended to be an expression of love, affection, and appreciation of others, while the receiver is commonly touched by the thought and investment of the other’s time and thought about the choice of the token.
Is Your Child Getting Enough Sleep?
November 15th, 2011
In the old days, it used to only be that hard-working and dedicated high school student who was sleep-deprived trying to fit everything in to make their college application look as spiffy as possible, but no longer. Due to the increased pressures of school and education, guilt-ridden working parents who have trouble saying “no”, I-pods, texting, Facebook, and many other twenty-first century advents, we now have a new cohort of sleep deprived folks: Preadolescents. Read the rest of this entry »
Helping Friends Over The Holidays
November 8th, 2011
Here come the Holidays. For some, this is a favorite time of the year, but for others, just the opposite. The concept of “loss” seems to be a consistent element here which makes the Holidays not so joyous for some, especially if they experienced a loss or misfortune some time over this past year. The loss of a loved one, a divorce, or a significant change in one’s health, school, or occupational status can cause feelings of shock, despair, sadness, or even depression. For any individual going through one of these possible conditions, the festivities of the season may intensify strong uncomfortable feelings. For these individuals, spending time with loved ones, friends, and trying to find activities to help them feel better are important, but not typically initiated by the individual for they feel so terrible. Read the rest of this entry »
One to One Time
October 31st, 2011
You’ve heard the old saying “quality time” versus “quantity time” haven’t you? Well, when it comes to spending time with your kids, this old adage speaks loud and clear. Most invested parents do their best to spend time with their kids and hope that those times together will be cherished moments in the minds of their child, but how a parent spends time with a child is what it’s all about. One characteristic of all children is that they crave the attention of their parents. It is something I call “love fuel”. It assures them they are important, valued, loved, respected, and liked by you. Pretty important stuff for a kid especially if they’re young. In fact, development teaches us that the kids who “get enough love and attention “ in the early years – the first 3 to be most specific – the better chances they have to stay mentally healthy. Such “critical” periods are from years 0-3 and then again 12 – 14. I have always viewed the teenagers as large toddlers. Just take off the first number of a teenager and this mirrors how they act sometimes. During these time periods, the parental attention need factor is at an all time high, but between these times, the attention from the parent remains needed for kids to develop healthfully. And, once they get their “fill”, they calm down. Read the rest of this entry »
