Background: As parents, we are all familiar with those frustrating moments when our children whine or complain when they sense something inside of them does not feel right. Whining stems from two different sources: physical or emotional. From the physical side whining will emerge from as early as two and run through adolescence and is related to physical discomfort which usually is not psychosomatic but actually due to some sort of illness or pain, such as fatigue. The second, and most common cause of whining, is emotionally based and cause by frustration related to having to do something they do not wish to do. Excessive whining is common and normal in the 2 to 4 year old age group as these children are trying to break away from their mother and strive towards independence. Read the rest of this entry »
Please Stop Whining
January 31st, 2012Anxious Parents = Anxious Children
January 24th, 2012
Background: When parents get anxious, children get anxious. It’s really that simple. That old adage of “take care of yourself, before trying to take care of others”, applies to parenting as well. After all, most invested parents will state that parenting is the most important, rewarding, yet most stressful “job” in the world, and it is! Perhaps the most common trait of any good parent is “worry”. This is a good thing, for worry equals caring and protection which are necessary to raise healthy children. But as with anything, too much or too little of something usually has shortcomings. A parent who is too anxious is going to be both stressed out and stress out their child, while a parent who is not “concerned enough”, may not be helping their child enough and the child then internalizes this experience and responds to themselves and others in the same manner. Read the rest of this entry »
Post-Pardum Depression In Men
January 17th, 2012
Background: One of the most neglected topics when a couple decides to have a child is that the mother is not the only one going through significant emotional and psychological changes. Dads are too. In fact, because the notion that men seem to be stereotyped as the “stong” ones, their emotional reactions to child birth are often overlooked. The reality is that both men and women are thrown into a “new” developmental part of their lives when they have a baby and depending upon many factors, some become excited and invested, while others struggle with this enormous change and associated responsibilities, including financial, emotional, and physical changes which may or may not have been examined ahead of time and even if they were, having that child makes it all real. For example Ed was elated when his wife of three years announced that she was finally pregnant. The couple had been trying to get pregnant for two years and were becoming very concerned that they would not be able to parent children. Fertility consultations had recommended some medication to help them along, but because of some negative family experiences with past medications in recent years, they decided to continue to try conceive naturally. However, the attempts had become anxiety provoking and “not much fun”, as both Ed and his wife, Ellen, would base their intimacy on an ovulation schedule rather than spontaneity. They had both concluded though, that it was worth it if they could have a child together. Read the rest of this entry »
Helping Your Kids Develop Healthy Social Skills
January 5th, 2012
Background: For most parents, concern about their children developing successful friendships is as important as academic dedication and solid morals and family values. But, as all adults realize, friendships are both complicated and confusing especially for children as most do not understand that friends are anything but perfect and at times can be very supportive, but at other times either overly competitive or envious. By adolescence, most boys and girls take this into stride and manage to accept ups and downs in their friendships as “normal” unless or course there is a break-up with their best friend (BF) or a boyfriend or girlfriend which can feel overwhelming. Read the rest of this entry »
Getting Kids Back “Into” School After The Holidays
December 26th, 2011
Background: If your family is like most, your children and adolescents are still in a state of denial that school begins next week given the holiday festivities. As parents however, you are ready for the holidays to end and excited about getting them back into structure and routine. Many parents avoid the concept of talking to their children about school re-starting for fear of putting their children into bad moods and getting into a fight. On the other hand, when parents do not approach talking about getting ready for school again and looking ahead to perhaps new year’s expectations for success, the avoided conflicts tend to emerge shortly after school begins when problems may already have arisen or repeated themselves from the following term. In addition, when parents do not discuss this upcoming change, children will often go into a short term slump as they re-enter school due to not managing their feelings of disappointment. Read the rest of this entry »
New Year’s Resolutions ( for kids )
December 20th, 2011
Background: 15 year old Billy told his parents that his New Year’s Resolution for 2011 would be to get straight A’s this year in school to better his chances for college admission. Up to this point, Billy had historically struggled in school given some mild learning differences and and a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, both of which he had received assistance in managing. Billy’s wish to elevate his grades is based on the reality of college admission competition and also in service of wanting to please his parents and raise his own self-esteem. Despite his encouraging statement to his parents, both his mother and father were concerned that Billy set his expectations too high given his natural attributes. In particular, his father was concerned that Billy was going to set himself up for a let down. Read the rest of this entry »
Extended Family Visits Over The Holidays
December 8th, 2011
Background: For many extended family members, the only time they have to spend and get to know their young family members is over the holidays and the time is often brief. From grandparents, to aunts, uncles, and cousins, this time is invaluable to discover what is on the minds and in the hearts of young children and even adolescents. To truly find out such answers, the interested family member needs to find ways to enter into their lives by joining in the child or adolescent’s interests or activities that they are comfortable doing. Read the rest of this entry »
Keeping Kids On Track Before The Holidays
December 1st, 2011
Teachers will tell you that the greatest decline in school performance is actually between Thanksgiving and the Winter Holidays due to kids daydreaming about the festivities and not thinking much about Social Studies, so the parental encouragement factor is a pretty important element during this time. Chances are your kids were not in the best mood when they had to find their backpacks and go back to school after the Thanksgiving break. Read the rest of this entry »
Kid Blues After Thanksgiving
November 25th, 2011
Think of getting your kids back into school after Thanksgiving as a warm up for after the Winter Holidays. Why not practice a bit this weekend. In fact, with the break between Thanksgiving and the longer Winter Holiday, kids won’t be thinking too much about school and this is when it can be especially tough for parents. Teachers will tell you that the greatest decline in school performance is actually between Thanksgiving and Christmas due to kids daydreaming about the festivities and not thinking much about Social Studies, so the parental encouragement factor is a pretty important element during this time. Here’s what parents can do.
- Start talking about going back to school today. Not to rain on the vacation parade, but reminding your kids to do any homework that might be due Monday will lessen the tension in your home if Sunday night comes around and they all of a sudden remember that a math packet is due.
- Empathize with your child that school is work but everyone is in the same boat. Kids often think they are the only ones suffering with the realities of school, but when they realize that their friends are in the same position, it often lessens their grief.
- Talk about the fun holidays ahead but emphasize that they will only be grand if they keep up on their schoolwork. Kids and goals go together. If the carrot of a great holiday is contingent on them pulling their weight at school, they will take it more seriously.
- Be on top of their responsibilities. During the next few weeks, be especially attentive to your child’s responsibility for their schoolwork. Check those planners and school websites and even send off an e-mail to their teacher making sure that all is going smoothly during this exciting period of time. Teachers always love invested parents.
Following these 4 simple steps will help your child keep their eye on the ball and pave the way for a more peaceful and enjoyable Winter break.
Keeping Kids Busy Over The Holidays
November 22nd, 2011
Listen up parents, if your kids get bored over the upcoming Holiday vacation, things could get rough. However, some simple things you can do will not only make the Holiday time for enjoyable for them, but also for you. Although many children complain about school work, the social benefits of the school day make vacations fun but also boring. This is when the relief from doing school work is replaced by missing the time spent with their peers at recess, lunch, or even when they are doing school projects together. I am a big believer in “family time” during vacations and advocate both alone time with each child and family-oriented activities, but parents need to do even more if they are going to keep their kids happy over the holidays. Read the rest of this entry »
